If There Was A Rewind Button, I Would Have Pushed It A Long Time Ago

I decided to use the best quote in the entire episode as a title for this post.  It was said by Randy, Chelsea’s dad, and it was actually really sad.  Maybe this proves how old I am, but I sometimes identify more with the teen moms’ parents than I do the teen moms’ themselves.  Okay, now that I’ve just aged myself, onto the episode…

Kailyn

Things have been calm at the Kailyn/Jo household, but Kailyn is still determined to move out, even though is acting like it’s the worst thing in the entire world that could ever happen.  She goes to look at apartments and realizes she’s really poor.  She needs a second job to afford anything.  When she tells Jo this, he still tries to convince her to move in with him, but she doesn’t want to because all they do is fight and just don’t get along.  Sounds like good reasoning to me.  Since Jo is oh-so-supportive, he tells Kailyn that she’s going to fall on her face with two jobs and school.  If he’s trying to make her fall in love with him, he’s going about it the wrong way.

Kailyn, being the awesome bitch that she is (except when she does crazy things like date other guys while still living with her ex’s parents), goes to try to find a second job anyway.  Jo be damned!  She interviews for a hostess job at Hooters.  Just kidding about Hooters, but she does interview at a restaurant for a hostess and she gets it!  She texts Jo to let him know and he has apparently stooped to Adam’s level and texts her back and I kind of want to punch him now.  Seriously.  He says she’s confusing.  He’s all, “I love you, I hate you, I want to be with you, I wish I never met you.”

Jo is channeling Adam

She goes home and confronts Jo about how much of a dick he is and they get into a fight, all without him making eye contact.  I guess he’s only brave over text message.

Chelsea

Chelsea is ostracizing everyone in her life by choosing to stay with Adam.  When Megan comes by to get more stuff, things are all awkward at first, but then they talk and decide they want to remain friends.  That makes me happy.  We get to see more of Megan!  Yay!  And since Chelsea is all wrapped up in Adam and Adam’s a lazy bum so she has to do everything, she didn’t finish High School in time to start beauty school.  So she considers getting her GED instead.

Adam being productive.

She asks for Adam’s help and he promises he’ll be a more productive member of society and maybe even get a job.  I don’t buy it.  If he has a job, he won’t be able to sleep all day.  Unless, of course, he has a night job, but I have a feeling he likes to sleep all night too.

When she heads over to her dad’s house to discuss this with him, Randy is not a happy camper.  Right away, he starts blaming Adam.  I know Adam has a lot to do with and as much as it pains me to say this, Chelsea is at fault too.  She’s the one who wasn’t disciplined enough to actually do her work.  And, because I like to blame Adam too, he’s a lazy ass who wouldn’t watch Aubree while Chelsea was doing schoolwork.  Even if that wasn’t true, I’m starting the rumor.  You heard it here first, folks.  Randy, on the other hand, entirely blames Adam.  He says how he wanted so much more for Chelsea.  He should stop paying her rent.

Life needs a rewind button.

Jenelle

For once, things are looking good in Jenelle’s world.  Since Jace’s birthday, her and her mom are actually getting along and she’s starting school in a few days!  Then everything falls apart when Amber, Jenelle’s friend she’s staying with, kicks her out basically saying Jenelle and Kieffer have overstayed their welcome.  Since Jenelle is one of those people who ignores all her friends when she gets a boyfriend, no one else will let her move in with them.  So Kieffer calls his friend, Mike, who has a beach house and asks if they can stay there for 2 or 3 weeks.  Mike agrees and they move in.  Since I’m slow, this is when I first realize that Jenelle is homeless.  And I feel sad for her.

They decide that they’ll get an apartment closer to Jenelle’s elusive college and both get jobs so they can actually afford an apartment.  When Jenelle goes to see Jace, she tells Barbara all this and I almost fall over in shock when Barbara that she’s proud of her!  Whoa!  But then she’s all, “You might meet a guy with potential.”  Isn’t that basically the same thing Randy said to Chelsea?  I have to wonder if my mother ever thought that about me.  Probably.

I'm proud of you, but...

So they go look at apartments (with a real estate agent who carries an annoying little dog around with her) and find a nice one, but they both need jobs to be able to afford it.  So they’re off to find jobs!  Jenelle lands one pretty easily at a restaurant, but Kieffer has a tougher time.  He isn’t able to find one.  Maybe his expectations are too high.  Anyway, he starts being unsupportive of Jenelle, both with her new job and with school that just started.  Also, Jenelle’s two textbooks cost $260.00.  How do people who price this stuff sleep at night???

The real estate agent and her crazy little dog.

Freight Train Leah

I’ve decided to test out the nickname “Freight Train Leah” instead of “Fantasy Land Leah,” but I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it yet.  I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m calling her fat.  I wish I was as fat as her!  Ha!  So, anyway, Leah and Corey are going fishing on this rickety boat that looks like it’s about to collapse any second.  And Corey has a trick up his sleeve!  He ties an engagement ring to the end of the line and throws it in the water.  I’m really glad he tied it tight, although watching him jump into the lake retrieve might be kind of funny.  So would watching him try to wrestle it away from a giant fish.  None of this happens and Leah pulls up the line and sees the ring.  She says yes, of course.  Oh, but then later, she tells her friends she wants to get married in a couple of months.  Choo choo!  Freight train coming through!

I found a rare Diamond Fish!

They go talk to their pastor and we find out he’s the pastor of doom and gloom.  He says how Ali’s health problems might affect their marriage, since it’s a lot to deal with.  This sets the waterworks off for Leah.  She starts boo hooing all over the place.  Poor Leah.  I just want to give her a hug.  Also, Ali’s eyes have been crossing, so Leah decides to take her to the eye doctor to get it checked out.

I don't know if it's just me or not, but I want to cry every time Leah does.

Ali needs glasses to correct her cross eye and the doctor said that if her eyes aren’t better in 4 months, she may need surgery.  Leah opens up a can of worms by asking if her eyes might have something to do with the nerve damage in her spine.  He told her that, since her brain, functions separately from her spine, if her eyes are a result of damage, it would be brain damage and not spinal damage.  Leah, understandably, totally freaks out and starts crying again.  No wonder she moves like a freight train.  She has to force this good stuff in her life to make up for the bad news she keeps getting.

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