Teen Mom – “What type of drama do you guys live, man?”

What a great week!  Farrah tries to sew her own clothes, Maci was on the show for about 2 minutes (actually, I don’t think I liked that part so much), Catelynn‘s mom didn’t call her a bitch, and Amber channeled her inner Chris Farley. We even got to see Jordan!

AMBER

Gary was still staying with his mom, but she basically told him to get his butt out, because he didn’t always get along with his brother.  So Gary calls up Amber and begs her to let him stay with her until he can afford to move out.  She’s like, “Whateve, but you have to pay.”  He tries to play the “I can move out faster if I don’t have to pay,” route.  Right, Gary.  Maybe someday that will work for ya.  She agrees to let him stay as long as he sleeps on the couch.  You know what that means, don’t you?  We get to see more fights!  And I don’t mean just fights between Gary and Amber.

Nope!  Amber decides she should take up martial arts to relieve the stress of having Gary living in her apartment like a bump on a log.

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Amber kicks butt for awhile and I decide she should leave Gary for this guy:

ambermartialarts

I think she wanted to.  She was telling him how she’s single now, blah, blah.  Then she gets down and dirty with him!

amberfightingguy

Ooh, baby.  But then she fights some chick and they totally hit like girls.

amberfightinggirl

So then Amber goes home and Gary’s still laying on the couch collecting drool in a cup.  Well, not really, but it would have been funny if he was.  They get into a fight. because Gary is insisting he’ll have roommates, but won’t tell Amber who they are.  She wants to know who their daughter will be around.  I have to admit Amber has a point, but honestly, I don’t think Gary even knows who his roommates will be.  If he was smart, he would have mentioned some girl’s name who Amber is insanely jealous about just so I could see more fighting.

ambergaryfighting

Amber basically tells him to go live in a van down by the river.

matt-foley-in-a-van-down-by-the-river

Well, okay, so she tells him to go live in his van for all she cares, but I’m sure the river part is implied.  He takes Leah and leaves.  Amber tries to put up an argument, but in the end, she lets him take Leah even though he told her he didn’t know where he was going.  Umm, Amber?  Bad move.  You’re not Farrah.

Hey, look who it is!

jordan

Jordan didn’t bug me as much this time, believe it or not.  He told Gary to forget about Amber, in so many words.  Gary was all girly, like, “I love her and know she loves me!  Boohoo.”  I kind of wanted to smack him.  He drops Jordan off and calls Amber asking for her forgiveness and if he could stay with her longer.

garyphone

She’s all, “Fine.  Whatever.  Just sleep on the couch and I need to know who your roommates are.”  (“and if there are any girls I can be jealous about.”)


FARRAH

Farrah’s broke.  Still.  She decides to try sewing her own clothes, because that’s what people do when they don’t have any money to live in their house.

sewing

In her case, though, it’s actually a good skill to have since she leaves coffee cups around.

sophiacoffee

So when she realizes she fails at life at sewing, she decides to seek advice from her parents since they’re getting along better now.  Her dad, Michael, suggests she applies for social security since Derek, the baby daddy, is dead.  She heads over to her lawyer.

farrahlawyer

He tells her she’ll need a paternity test done in order to get benefits since Derek is not listed on Sophia’s birth certificate.  This isn’t too much of a problem, since they can still use his sister, Kassy’s, DNA.  Mr. Lawyer tries calling Kassy and doesn’t get any answer.  He tells Farrah to try to get in touch with Derek’s family.  Farrah did her eye roll thing and sigh thing, and said they don’t get along since they never approved of their relationship.  Lawyer tells her to grow up, which is awesome.  I love it when authority figures tell Farrah what’s up.

So she goes home and emails Kassy, asking her if she would mind taking a DNA test in order for her to receive survivor benefits for Sophia.

farrahcomputer

lettertokassy

When Farrah doesn’t hear back from Kassy, she decides to call her.

farrahphonekassy

Kassy is all sweet and agrees to everything Farrah says.  I smell a rat, and I don’t mean the one in front of Farrah’s apartment building.  She and Sophia head down to the lab to have their DNA tests done, since social security needs all 3.  Kassy is supposed to have her test done the next day.

Surprise, surprise!  The next day, Farrah gets a call from a person at the lab saying Kassy never showed up and she’s not answering her phone.  Maybe you should get Amber after her, Farrah.  She’ll show her what’s up.

CATELYNN

Catelynn and Tyler are being all cute, having family time, and making a scrapbook for Carly when she gets older.

catetylerscrapbooking

What I meant was, scrapbooking and texting.  Then Catelynn gets a call from Tyler’s father, Butch.  It turns out he’s in jail, and not in rehab anymore!  What, you ask?  Let me elaborate.  He had a “no contact” order from rehab.  He wasn’t supposed to contact Catelynn’s mother, April, but he had been.  He got thrown in the slammer for that.  Apparently, a year ago, they had gotten into this huge fight and April called the cops on him.  I suspect she also turns into a cat when she’s angry, judging by the claw mark on his face.

butchscratch

April decides to write a letter to the parole board to explain she was drunk and didn’t tell the whole story when the incident happened, hoping to get Butch out of jail.  Then they go to a lawyer and find out they can’t afford a lawyer.

aprillawyer

Seriously, MTV, give the poor girl a break.  Why does it always have to be such slim pickins’ for Catelynn?

MACI

It’s almost moving day!  Maci’s packing up and inviting her friends over!

macipacking

When she asks her friends if they’re going to see her off the following day, she gets those all-too-familiar glares again.

maciesfriends

I’m beginning to think her friends are really props for the show and they don’t actually move or anything.

So she’s all packed up and saying good-bye to her parents who are being really supportive, even though they’re not happy about her decision.

macisayinggoodbye

On the way to Nashville, she decides to let Ryan in on the secret.  She makes a quick detour to Ryan’s house to tell him they’re “moving to Nashville this week.”  In Maciland, “this week” means “right this second.”  They get into an argument, which is understandable.  I know this is a controversial subject since Maci is a fan favorite (hey, I love her too!), but she is being kind of selfish in my opinion, even though Ryan is pretty much a deadbeat, and….gah!  I’m confused again and don’t know whose side I’m on!

maciryanbentley

So then she picks up Bentley and leaves after Ryan says good-bye to him.  Then Ryan just sits there looking sad and I’m feeling sorry for him all over again.  Damn you, Ryan!

ryanaftertheyleave



One comment

  1. Kylie says:

    I’m kind of the same about Maci, I love her, but she is being selfish with this one. WHY can’t Kyle move? Doesn’t make me like him.

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