Teen Mom – “The whole pregnancy thing ruined your and your mom’s relationship.”

This week’s episode should have been entitled “Revenge of the Grandparents” or maybe “The Grandparents Wrath.”  But first…we have Amber’s birthday to celebrate!

Amber

Gary really stepped up to the plate by surprising Amber with breakfast in bed.

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While they were eating the most yummy looking pancakes (I don’t even like pancakes, but I totally wanted some), Amber told Gary her plans for her birthday included going out dancing with her friends.  He agreed to stay home and take care of Leah.  He then took Leah out to buy Amber some presents.  It was all really sweet.

Now I would like you to meet my new least favorite person:

This is Jordan.
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Jordan told Gary he’s a little bitch for allowing Amber to go out on her birthday with her friends and leaving Gary home with Leah.  Gary is obviously easily swayed, because a lightbulb lit up over his head at this, and he called Amber after her friends had already arrived to tell her that she couldn’t go to the club unless she included him.  You can probably imagine how well that went.

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They broke up.  Again.  At this, Jordan almost had an orgasm in the front seat of Gary’s car.  “Zomg, you can come live with me, bro!”  Umm, yeah.

I felt really really bad for Amber and I wanted to punch Gary in the head.  In fact, if I was Amber, I would have punched him in the head.  She took it well, considering.  She sat there stewing.

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But then (are you ready for this?), Gary apparently realized he was being a giant pair of monkey nuts, and showed up at home with a cake and an apology.

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And all is well.  Are you surprised?  I’m not.

CATELYNN

It’s prom time!  Catelynn and Tyler are going together, of course.  But first…let’s take a sneak peek at Catelynn trying on prom dresses.  Oh, wait, all I see is Catelynn’s mom, April, grumbling in a corner.  It appears Catelynn and April got into a somewhat heated fight in the department store changing room.  It started with her not liking any of the dresses Catelynn was trying on and it escalated from there.

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That must have been an awkward car ride for everyone involved:

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April dropped Catelynn and her friend off at the tux shop where Tyler was waiting to look for a tux to rent.  I had to include this screenshot only because it cracks me up every time I see Tyler in the driver’s seat of a car.  He totally doesn’t look old enough to be driving.

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So Catelynn fills Tyler in on what happened with her mom and he’s pretty quiet about the whole thing.  They later take a walk with their dogs where they discuss things further.

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Tyler tells Catelynn, “The whole pregnancy thing ruined your and your mom’s relationship.”  Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Just before prom, they get all dolled up and head downstairs for pictures.  April is still shooting venom from her eyes.

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But the night ends on a high note!  Catelynn and Tyler end up winning Prom Queen and King, which I’m sure had nothing to do with the fact that they’re on MTV.

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I think they’re running out of story lines for these two, so this is all we end up with.  I apologize.


FARRAH

Poor Sophia doesn’t stand a chance.  Farrah leaves her in the hallway while she’s unpacking, she leaves her unattended in the sink where she turns the faucet on and burns herself, she leaves her unattended on a bed where she falls off, and now this…

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Yep, that’s Sophia unattended on a counter.  Good going, Farrah.

So Debra, Farrah’s mom, is done with her counseling and community service.  She obviously wants to see Sophia.  Farrah generously invites her to one of her counseling sessions in an effort to patch things up between them.

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Farrah’s counselor, Dina, gave them both a chance to speak.  Debra said she just wants Farrah to be happy, like she used to be.  She stated they used to be close and, at this, Farrah practically started twitching and foaming at the mouth.  It was actually pretty great, because Farrah ended up getting her ass handed to her by Dina, about how disrespectful she was being.

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Then she suggested that they should just hang out, get used to one another again.  They agree to try.  It worked out well.  Debra mentioned watching Sophia once in awhile when Farrah is at work or school and Farrah surprisingly agrees.

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MACI

Ryan’s parents put the bug in his ear to fight Maci for more custody.  At the moment, he sees Bentley every other weekend and on Wednesdays, which is the standard for a non-custodial parent as far as I know.  He now wants 50/50 custody of Bentley.  Ryan’s girlfriend, Kathryn, decided playing Suzi Homemaker would be oh, so much fun, so she eggs him on.

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He looks totally disinterested, but she’s all, “Zomg, if you have more custody of your son, that bitch will pay!  Umm, I mean, you should be allowed to see Bentley more often.”  He finally agrees to take Maci to court, at which Kathryn totally lights up and can think of nothing but Maci’s misery.

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Ryan tells his friends that he’ll have paid $80,000.00 in child support by the time Bentley reaches 18, to which I want to say, “Ryan, dear, if you have custody, you will be paying more than that.”  Not to mention it’s his parents who are paying his child support since he doesn’t have a job, and this only proves he wants to take her to court to pay less child support, not because he wants to see Bentley more.

So Ryan goes to visit his crooked lawyer who wants him to take a paternity test first, to which Ryan refused saying he knew Bentley was his.  Good for you, Ryan, I actually almost liked you for 2 seconds.  His lawyer, who had dollar signs for pupils, drew up the paperwork right away.

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When Maci stopped by to pick Bentley up, Ryan presented her with the papers.  They said that Bentley would go 3 days with one parent, then 3 days with the other, and so on.  Ryan asked her straight out if she’s moving to Nashville to be with Kyle and she said yes.  After that, it got a little weird, because Ryan kept yawning, which I think was an attempt to hold back tears.  It almost made me like him a little more.  Damn you, Ryan, for making me almost feel sorry for you!

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Maci held it together, collected Bentley, and started to drive home.  On the way home, she called Sharon, her mother, and promptly broke down in tears.  Damn you, Ryan, for doing this to Maci!



2 comments

  1. Erica says:

    I swear you are in my head while you were writing this! I had ALL the same thoughts.

    Thanks for the review! I’ll keep checking back for updates. 🙂

    Love the site.

  2. Kylie says:

    OMG, I hate the same people! I can’t stand April, I want to shake her and tell her to grow up!!

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