So there was this poll on MTV’s blog about The Situation and whether or not he’s ever done steroids in the past.

The Situation SteroidsMaybe I’m clueless, but that doesn’t really look like a juice head, in fact it looks more like the body of a guy who doesn’t even work out, but gets fit doing construction or something.   The guy is constantly jerking off over his abs, and even pointing to them in the picture, but again, maybe I’m blind, but what is he pointing at? It looks like he’s sucking in a small beer gut after a long night of partying.

I’m not trying to bash on the guy, shit, I’m in no position to do so, I’m a freakin slob.  I just think it’s funny how both he and MTV make him out to be some jacked juice head who can barely walk because of his ripped muscles everywhere.   Has he tried steroids in the past?   Who really cares?  Last I checked, this isn’t MLB, and it isn’t against the rules of being a douchebag to have juiced up, in fact, I think it’s encouraged.  So even if he has, I don’t think they’ll strip away all his records of trashy girls he banged, or STD’s he acquired.

If you really care about voting on whether or not he’s stuck stuff up his butt..  needles of course… vote here at MTV.com.

It was acoustic week!  The contestants danced to either the Argentine Tango or the Rumba to live acoustic music.  They were also being judged on both technical and performance abilities, and had to dance on a much smaller, round stage.  Luckily no one fell off the stage, which I totally would have done.

Before I get on with the results, just a few observations from me:

1. We got to hear Jennifer Grey say, “It was dope, yo.”  That was priceless.

2. Watching Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas dance is kind of like watching my grandmother makes the moves on my boyfriend.  Solely speaking of the age difference.  I don’t want Corky Ballas to be my boyfriend.

3. We got to see Mark Ballas’s, Len Goodman’s, and The Situation’s situations.  The Situation’s was the only one worth looking at.

Len Goodman shirtless

It just seems so...unLenlike

4. Karina Smirnoff thinks The Situation is The Hulk.  Or maybe Superman.  Karina, you aren’t Lacey Schwimmer.  You and The Situation are almost the same height and build.  Expecting him to make you do a perfect barrel roll in mid-air might be sort of impossible.

5. Speaking of Lacey Schwimmer, what’s with all the jokes about how young and “full of hormones” Kyle Massey is?  You were his age pretty damn recently, Lacey.

Okay, now that I got all that out of my system, onto the results!

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As I mentioned here, there was some drama involving last night’s show.  The press took the boos and ran with it, saying the audience was booing Sarah Palin.  The press is dumb.  The audience was actually booing the scores that Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough got.  In this unedited footage, which you can’t hear since it’s just a picture, the audience was booing and yelling out “9!”

boogate

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Welcome to Season 11 of Dancing with the Stars (and Bristol Palin)!  I don’t know about you, but Dancing with the Stars always makes me want to take up Ballroom Dancing.  But since stevebeans always looks at me like I have eggplants sprouting from my ears whenever I mention it, dancing around in my living room to Lady Gaga is probably the closest I’ll ever get.

Tonight’s dances were the Cha Cha….

grease_annette-cardona_close-up-of-dance-off-dress-bmp

and the Viennese Waltz.

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I shamedly admit I haven't watched Dancing with the Stars on a regular basis since the first season where John O'Hurley repeatedly made me laugh with his facial expressions.  That man could cut a rug!  I did catch a couple of episodes featuring Mario Lopez (Slater!), because he's, well…..HE'S MARIO LOPEZ!  Boy, was I ever surprised to find out we're in season 11.  11!  I excitedly checked out the cast lineup and felt slight disappointment when I saw the list.  I didn't see Zack Morris anywhere.

Representing the ladies:

Jennifer Grey – No one is putting Baby in the corner.  In fact, they're putting Baby on stage and hoping she can still dance.

Brandy – She can sing, but can she dance?  Let's hope so.

Florence Henderson – I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited about seeing Carol Brady strut her stuff.  "Ohhh, Mike." 

Audrina Patridge – Now, I don't know anything about The Hills beyond Heidi and Spencer, but apparently Audrina wasn't doing anything, so she thought, "Sure, why not?  Maybe I'll get to meet Zach Morris."  Sorry, Audrina, we all wish that.

Umm…nice outfit, Audrina, but I think you forgot your pants.

Margaret Cho – If her dancing isn't up to par, maybe she can crack some jokes to get us all to forget her performance.  You just know she's going to do that.

Bristol Palin – Bristol Palin is a star?  Since when?  Personally, I'd rather see her momma out there.

Now for the men:

Kyle Massey – As far as I'm concerned, Kyle will always be Raven's obnoxious little brother on That's So Raven.  I half expect him to start picking on his dance partner.

Rick Fox – The first of our two athletes is an L.A. Lakers legend.  Not knowing much about basketball myself, I figured I should do my research.  A quick Google search informed me that he has been linked to both Vanessa Williams and Eliza Dushku.  Not bad, Rick.  Not bad at all.

Kurt Warner – Not quite the Quarterback I want to see, but I guess Tom Brady is busy playing football or something.

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino – One has to wonder what situation he is talking about.  Maybe Snooki knows.

Everyone!  Look at my abs!

Michael Bolton – YES!  Yes, yes, yes!!!!!  It's about time he got the respect he deserves!

Oh, that's the wrong Michael Bolton.  What a letdown.  They mean this guy:

He's okay too, I guess. 

David Hasselhoff – Last, but certainly not least, the Hoff.

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I know he's aged some since his Baywatch days, but this is just how I prefer to remember him.

Season 11 of Dancing with the Stars premieres Tuesday, September 20th.  Stay tuned!