Itsyoursexlife.org put out a Public Service Announcement telling all about the joys of cuddling. Now, I have a few things to say about this:

1. The original Teen Moms! I totally missed them!
2. Why is Maci blonde? I’m not sure how I feel about that. What do you think?
3. They probably were cuddling at first. Cuddling leads to other things, which leads to having babies, which leads to starring in television shows. I’m just joking, kids. Don’t try this at home.

The most exciting news about this: Teen Mom is coming back for a third season, which premieres July 5th, and they’re already signed up for a fourth season too! At this point though, they’re no longer teens. In fact, they’re now about the same age I was when I became a mom. I don’t know about you, but I think I mostly miss Ryan. He kind of reminds me of Adam from Teen Mom 2, except that Ryan is actually likeable.

As an additional thought, Teen Mom names are taking over. The most popular baby names of 2010 have been released and Bentley (Maci and Ryan’s son) is at spot 101, and Maci is at 232. Sophia (Farrah’s daughter) is at number 2, but I’m pretty sure that’s been up there for a long time. What name is your favorite?

Let's hope we don't see anything else like this.

Now that Teen Mom’s Farrah, Amber, Maci, and Catelynn are all quickly approaching middle-age and their kids are applying to colleges, MTV has a new cast for the media to ruin the lives of!  I would like to introduce you to the cast of Teen Mom 2:

Leah Messer who is the mother of 1 year old twins, Aliannah and Aleeah.

Jenelle Evans, mother of 16 month old, Jace.

Kailyn Lowry, mother of 11 month old, Isaac.

Chelsea Houska, mother of 15 month old, Aubree.

I didn’t watch 16 and Pregnant back when these girls were featured, so I don’t know if they’re trainwrecks or not yet.  I guess I’ll find out!

Source: US Weekly

With baseball taking over Hell’s Kitchen for the next 2 or so weeks,  it’s been slow here are Junkies, but we have some news about Teen Mom’s MaciOK! Magazine reported a few weeks ago that Maci Bookout was done with Kyle and was trying to get back with Ryan, but of course OK! Magazine was wrong, yet again.

In an exclusive interview with Maci, radaronline got to the bottom of these issues…

You left your parents and started over with Bentley in a new city when you fell in love with Kyle. Do you feel you made the right choice?

“Yes, I do. I did it for two reasons. One, I wanted Kyle and I to be in the same place. Two, I wanted to be on my own and learn about myself and Bentley and even if Kyle and I hadn’t worked out it would have been worth it.”

Is it true you got back together with Ryan? Is there a future for you?

“No. There is a future with us as co-parents but not a future for us as a couple.”

Tell us about your relationship with Kyle?

“Kyle and I are best friends and we are there for each other. It’s nice to know someone is there for you no matter what.”

So there you have it, Maci seems to still be with Kyle, though she was a little vague about that question calling him her “best friend”, she appears to be all done with Ryan, and is still living near Kyle going costume shopping:

Teen Mom's Maci Bookout Halloween ShoppingTeen Mom's Maci Bookout Halloween Shopping 2

Sigh.  The season 2 finale.  I don’t know about you, but I’m really going to miss Maci, Farrah, Amber, Catelynn, and their crazy adventures.  But never fear!  I just did a little bit of research and found out there will, in fact, be a season 3.  Hmm, I wonder if they’ll change the name to Young Adult Mom or perhaps Early 20’s Mom.

I almost don’t want to post this recap, because that means it’s really over.  I may sound melodramatic, but I’ve actually grown to really care about these people.  It’s hard to believe that it wasn’t too long ago when I refused to watch it, telling my boyfriend, “I can’t watch a show about teen mothers!  I’m going to have a teenage daughter in a few years!  It’s way too scary.”  That was before I really knew anything about the show and how it doesn’t glamorize teen pregnancy at all, but shows the hardships and struggles teen parents face.

Okay, I’m stepping off my soapbox now.  Onto the show!

CATELYNN

Catelynn and Tyler are taking an 8 hour drive out to West Virginia to visit Carly.  They haven’t seen her in a year, so this is a big deal.  However, they both admit they feel “blank” and not excited or nervous.

Tyler driving

Tyler looking all bad ass

On their way to West Virginia, Catelynn’s mom, April, calls and is all, “I love you guys.  Don’t forget about me!”  Umm, what?  How could they forget about her?  They should, but I think she kind of makes that impossible.  As they get closer to West Virginia, they admit they’re starting to feel a little nervous.  They also seem pretty excited.  Then they have this long discussion about if they should ask Brandon and Teresa if they can hold Carly.  Tyler does his therapist thing where he gives the other viewpoint, by saying to Catelynn that he wants Brandon and Teresa to feel totally comfortable and not that they’re trying to hone in on their territory.

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I hate to say “I told you so,” Maci, but I told you so.  I just had to tell it to you a lot sooner than I thought.

MACI

 Maci, Kyle, and Bentley are now one big happy family.  Or are they?  Kyle and Bentley seem very enamored with each other anyway.

kylebentleypool

But when Maci asks Kyle to come over to help her potty train Bentley (and what boyfriend doesn’t love to help potty train his girlfriend’s kid?), he seems distant and only stays for about 2 seconds before he hits the sack.  Maci is annoyed by how little time she can Kyle have spent together since she moved to Nashville.  She took the Summer off from work, but now she appears to be at the bottom of his priority list.  Maci is starting to wonder if moving to Nashville was such a good idea.  Everyone tried to tell her this.  Me, her parents, her friends with the evil death stares…everyone.  But she was determined to move.  Can you say “rebound?”  I also don’t think Kyle realized what  it takes to be an instant father figure.  He most likely wasn’t ready for that role.

One day when Bentley is with Ryan, Maci calls Kyle and asks to spend the evening with him.  He doesn’t seem excited at that prospect at all.  In fact, he sounds as if he’d rather watch paint dry.  Then watch it peel.  Then repaint everything.  I think we know what’s coming.

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Don't steer me wrong again

OK! Magazine may have tricked me the last time, but they suck me right back in with more Teen Mom gossip (they should rename their magazine to Teen Mom! Weekly)

This time they’re claiming that Maci Bookout has dumped her mumbling boyfriend from Nashville, Ryan Edwards has also dumped his bitchy girlfriend who took pleasure in Maci’s pain, and now they’re trying to work things out with each other.

Ok, so Farrah wasn’t pregnant,  Bristol may not be sleeping with everyone she meets, and maybe Kendra’s family doesn’t have drama, but I bet this time it’s real.  Everyone knows Kyle was just a rebound fling that wouldn’t last (which shocked me she considered moving there), and it wouldn’t be that big of a stretch to say they get back together.

I think Maci is the nicest one on the show, and has the biggest heart, and that’s why I believe this story because I know if someone is foolish enough to uproot their life to move near Mr Mumbles, they would be just as foolish to come back and try to work things out with a guy who treated her like shit.

If you were looking for more Gary/Amber action, you’ve come to the right place!  We also get to see Amber laying down a lot, so it’s win-win.  I think.  We do get to hear Maci ask what an Ethiopian is though, and here I thought she was the smart one!

AMBER

Gary is still living in Amber’s apartment, despite the fact that they’re still not back together.  Amber decides to spend as little time at the house as possible, since all Gary does is keep the couch warm.  She takes Leah to the park with her cousin, Krystal.

amberpark

She decides to show Krystal some of the martial arts she’s learning that will keep Gary to cater to her every whim.  Hey, it’s working so far.  Don’t knock a good thing.  Right, Amber?

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Sophia Chillin On Counter Alone

Just a reminder, a new Teen Mom is on tonight!  So wrap Sophia up in bubble wrap, get ready for more Catelynn and Tyler just staring at each other, watch Maci make a huge mistake by moving to Nashville and enjoy some good ole fashion Gary and Amber fighting!

What a great week!  Farrah tries to sew her own clothes, Maci was on the show for about 2 minutes (actually, I don’t think I liked that part so much), Catelynn‘s mom didn’t call her a bitch, and Amber channeled her inner Chris Farley. We even got to see Jordan!

AMBER

Gary was still staying with his mom, but she basically told him to get his butt out, because he didn’t always get along with his brother.  So Gary calls up Amber and begs her to let him stay with her until he can afford to move out.  She’s like, “Whateve, but you have to pay.”  He tries to play the “I can move out faster if I don’t have to pay,” route.  Right, Gary.  Maybe someday that will work for ya.  She agrees to let him stay as long as he sleeps on the couch.  You know what that means, don’t you?  We get to see more fights!  And I don’t mean just fights between Gary and Amber.

Nope!  Amber decides she should take up martial arts to relieve the stress of having Gary living in her apartment like a bump on a log.

garysloth

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I had the brilliant idea of turning Teen Mom into a drinking game.  Take a drink every time Amber and Gary have an argument, a drink every time they show Ryan staring blankly into space, take a shot every time Farrah puts Sophia in danger, take two shots if Sophia gets injured from it, take a drink every time they have to caption Kyle speaking; but then I realized I would be totally snockered within 20 minutes and this blog post would be nothing but incoherent babble…more than usual anyway.

AMBER

I knew things weren’t going to go well for the dynamic duo when they had an argument within the first 5 minutes of the episode.  They signed up for dance lessons to get prepped for their wedding.  Do people actually do this?  I see it a lot on TV, but I don’t know any couples in real life who have actually done it.  So the instructor asks when their wedding is and they don’t know.  Amber replies with “maybe in 2 to 4 months.”  Gary’s all, “20 months sounds good to me, hardy har har.”  Seriously, Gary?  Do you want Amber to bitch slap you again?  I’m beginning to think he gets off on it.  That gets all squared away and they dance and I see a dress I totally covet.

amberballgown

The shocker comes next!

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