Hi!  Remember me?  I was doing the Teen Mom 2 recaps until I somehow got a month behind and watched the remaining episodes all in one afternoon.

This is going to be a super quick recap on the remainder of the season.  From what I remember anyway!

Leah and Corey got married!  But, as Steve posted, it looks like they’re now getting a divorce.  Time moves fast when you rush into things and make really stupid decisions.

Wha???

With Jenelle, it was more of the same. Sneaking around with boyfriend Kieffer, getting arrested, crawling back home with her tail between her legs, blah, blah. But she kept Kieffer in jail instead of bailing him out, which was way awesome. Until she ended up bailing him out and getting back together with him. Jenelle is dumb. But at least this was entertaining:

Jenelle really packs a punch!

Jenelle and Kieffer were both arrested again after this.

Kailyn and Jo still hate each other.  Kailyn moved in with her mom and there was a scuffle to get her stuff out of Jo’s house and it wasn’t very interesting.  And Kailyn got back together with Jordan and no one really cared.  However, apparently Jo is a budding rapper, which I feel the need to mention.  Oh, I guess I should also mention that Kailyn and Jo are on good terms

I saved the best for last.

CHELSEA KICKED ADAM OUT!!!

That is all.

Zzzzzzzz

Look, I understand having a baby with a complete lunatic, but your 15 minutes are up, and no random tweets about your love life (or lack thereof) will change that.   You want to get back in the news?  Do something entertaining, like start dating someone like Leah, I hear she’s single.

teen mom's leah moving out of her houseWhile a divorce is a crappy experience for almost everyone involved almost every time,  it’s hard to feel bad for Leah and Corey in this situation.   Why?  Because they’re teens who only got married because Corey gave Leah a guilt trip?  While that’s a maybe, it’s more how they’re whoring themselves out with it.  As you can see from above, Leah had to wait until the camera crews were around to move out, and for weeks leading up to this announcement, she vehemently denied the rumors.   Why did she deny them?  Simple, she was waiting to hear what MTV wanted her to do, and how she could spin this into more airtime.

I don’t have an ounce of sorrow for her, I mean look at that above, it looks like she’s faking sad while visions of how much she’ll make next season float around her head.      You have to get up pretty early in the morning to trick me with the fake sad routine, especially when you have a camera crew following you around.

Jordan Humble Teen Mom 2 Cheating ScandalI recently watched the last three episodes of Teen Mom 2, so naturally that makes me an expert on the topic now, and I was interested at this latest bit of gossip coming from Us Weekly today.  They are saying the reason our lovable redneck couple shockingly split after only six months of marriage is now possibly due to Corey’s wandering eye.. and by eye I mean penis.

Us Weekly is claiming the day Leah Messer filed for divorce from mr. mumbles, he was sending facebook messages to Jordan Humble (pictured above).   I also assume the messages were not asking where she shops, because she doesn’t walk around in camouflage and carry a rifle.   I also assume the only reason she showed any interest in him was due to his popularity with the show, because I’m frankly shocked Leah liked him, let alone another girl.

While we’re on the subject of our love birds, this should give people a valuable lesson out there.  If someone says you don’t love them because you want to wait on marriage, they usually have a few screws loose in their head and don’t take marriage very serious to begin with.   I’d like to blame this all on Corey, but Leah had to know what she was getting into when he pulled that line on her.  I mean it’s common sense, right?

I decided to use the best quote in the entire episode as a title for this post.  It was said by Randy, Chelsea’s dad, and it was actually really sad.  Maybe this proves how old I am, but I sometimes identify more with the teen moms’ parents than I do the teen moms’ themselves.  Okay, now that I’ve just aged myself, onto the episode…

Kailyn

Things have been calm at the Kailyn/Jo household, but Kailyn is still determined to move out, even though is acting like it’s the worst thing in the entire world that could ever happen.  She goes to look at apartments and realizes she’s really poor.  She needs a second job to afford anything.  When she tells Jo this, he still tries to convince her to move in with him, but she doesn’t want to because all they do is fight and just don’t get along.  Sounds like good reasoning to me.  Since Jo is oh-so-supportive, he tells Kailyn that she’s going to fall on her face with two jobs and school.  If he’s trying to make her fall in love with him, he’s going about it the wrong way.

Kailyn, being the awesome bitch that she is (except when she does crazy things like date other guys while still living with her ex’s parents), goes to try to find a second job anyway.  Jo be damned!  She interviews for a hostess job at Hooters.  Just kidding about Hooters, but she does interview at a restaurant for a hostess and she gets it!  She texts Jo to let him know and he has apparently stooped to Adam’s level and texts her back and I kind of want to punch him now.  Seriously.  He says she’s confusing.  He’s all, “I love you, I hate you, I want to be with you, I wish I never met you.”

Jo is channeling Adam

She goes home and confronts Jo about how much of a dick he is and they get into a fight, all without him making eye contact.  I guess he’s only brave over text message.

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I hardly even want to blog this episode, because it made me sad.  BUT! the blog must go on.  I guess it’s just the way things go though…the sky is blue, the grass is green, Adam is a douchebag, etc., etc.

Chelsea

Adam is living with Chelsea and Megan, but not paying rent.  Supposedly he doesn’t make enough to pay both rent and child support.  When Chelsea confronts him that he needs to pay rent (since her father said so), he gets annoyed at Megan since she doesn’t pay rent either.  I guess that makes sense to me.  They each should be paying 1/3 of the rent.  Megan even mentions they should split the rent 3 ways.  But that doesn’t help anything, since Adam and Megan absolutely despise each other.  This is really difficult for Chelsea, since she feels torn between her family and her best friend.

He pretty much spends the entire episode trying to get Megan to move out.  And I pretty much spend the entire episode wanting to punch him.  It doesn’t help that Randy is trying to get Chelsea to forget Adam exists, by telling her to find a job at a tanning salon or something (he sure knows what she likes) and “maybe [she’ll] find a nice guy.”  Oooh, low blow, dad!  While Chelsea and Randy are chatting over lunch, both Megan and Adam are texting her, because they’re arguing again.  By the time Chelsea gets home, Megan is gone.  She’s spending the night with her parents.  Since Adam likes to be a jerk, he starts texting Megan that she should just move out.  Nevermind that she was there first.

Nething? Really?

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Just an FYI: This post has no screen captures, because Hulu took down the video for some reason.  I guess I took too long to blog it.  I learned my lesson!

I am probably the most horrible blogger in the history of blogdom.  I haven’t even blogged last week’s episode of Teen Mom 2 and this week’s episode has already aired!  I’m slapping myself on the wrist as we speak.  Well, not really, but wouldn’t that be a funny image?  Me sitting here, just slapping myself repeatedly on the wrist.  Anyway, this blog post will be a quick one.  I would say an even shorter recap than usual, but who are we kidding?  My recaps are never short.

Kailyn

Kailyn and Jo are saying their trying to make their relationship work, but at the same time, they’re not back together.  I’m confused.  Jo has been stepping up to the plate since Kailyn is going to school, then directly to work from school.  But then everything blows up over who’s going to do laundry.  Laundry, people!  After that, all they do is argue.  Must be some pretty awful laundry.

Their arguing is causing problems with Jo’s parents, Janet and Eddie.  I think they’re getting sick of their cellar dweller.  Jo ends up getting kicked out of the house one day, because he got into a fight with his dad and he up and takes Isaac to his aunt’s house in New Jersey, a 2 hour drive away, just giving Kailyn a mere head’s up that that’s what he’s going to do.  He was sort of like, “Hey, I got us kicked out of the house, you have to find a new place to live, I’m taking Isaac to Newark.  See ya.”  Yeah.

Kailyn ends up staying with her friend, Stephanie, in Pennsylvania, but Jo wants her to move to New Jersey, despite the fact that she is going to school and has a job in Pennsylvania.  Since they can’t figure this out over the phone, Jo meets Kailyn at a restaurant to discuss their living arrangements.  (Does anyone else notice how Jo just CAN NOT make eye contact?  It makes him look almost cute.)  He says that he wants to stay in New Jersey, but, in the meantime, he’s staying at a hotel.  Kailyn decides to stay with him at the hotel, so she “can spend time with Isaac.”  Suuuure, spend time with Isaac.  Likely story.

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I’m still loving Fantasy Land Leah.  She seems like such a good mom who does what she can to put her daughters first.  When it comes to Jenelle, I’m probably in the minority when I say that I want to like her.  I want her to stop being a self-absorbed little twit and remember that she has a son.  I don’t see that happening any time soon though.  As far as Kailyn goes, I feel sorry for her and I really like her for the most part.  I feel sorry for Jo too, especially since he walks around looking all depressed like life has done him wrong.  Chelsea…well, not liking her very much.  That’s pretty much all I can say about her at the moment.  She makes dumb decisions, which makes it hard to like her.  I love Megan though.  I think Megan might be my girl crush of the season.

Fantasy Land Leah

Leah and Corey are still back together and everything is all hunky-dory.  I guess she’s decided she can trust him now.  Family and friends think they’re moving too fast, which is proven by the fact that they are moving too fast.  Corey brings up the subject of moving in together, even though they’ve only been back together for like a week.  They weren’t even together that long collectively either.  Leah got pregnant for Ali and Aleeah a month after her and Corey started dating, and they were broken up for months in the meantime.  But, still, love is around us and they decide that living together would be just awesome for the girls.  I hope they’re right.

It's hard to take it slow when you have 2 kids. Duh, mom.

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Love is in the air!  Or maybe lust is in the air.  Regardless of what’s in the air, people are hooking up.  Actually, they’re re-hooking up.  Who knows what could happen next.  Maybe Andrew, Jenelle’s ex, will decide that modeling in China isn’t for him and come crawling back.  Stranger things have happened, I’m sure.

Chelsea

Chelsea’s dad, Randy, is basically throwing her money, which she no doubt is using to pay for tanning.  Even so, she hasn’t told him that Adam is back in her life.  I’m guessing because she’s afraid of losing the cash cow.  Chelsea also seems to be weirded out that Aubree keeps saying “dada” instead of “mama.”  I am still of the firm belief that she’s calling Megan “dada.”  Chelsea is too distracted by all the people in her life, namely Aubree, Megan, and Adam, that she isn’t doing so well in school.  I’m sure daddy won’t be happy to hear that either.  In the middle of all this, Adam texts Chelsea that he wants to get back together with her and be a father to Aubree.  Color me surprised.

Chelsea decides to “test” him, because guys love that.  While The Tanning Twins (Chelsea and Megan, of course) are going to the admissions office to see about beauty school for Chelsea, Adam is going to watch Aubree.  I immediately break into a sweat.  This does not seem like a good idea.  Chelsea’s “test” is that she’ll leave some baby food on the counter to see if Adam actually remembers to feed his daughter.  If he doesn’t, I hope she runs for the hills.

The ol' "baby food on the counter" ploy!

Back at beauty school, the admissions officer is all, “Omg, we need your transcripts in a month tops,” when Chelsea says that she’ll finish homeschooling by then.  That’s pretty much all that goes on when The Tanning Twins visit beauty school, except that Chelsea says she wants to work at a salon that does everything, like hair, nails, etc.  She didn’t mention tanning, but I know she’s thinking about it.

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Before I say anything else, I would like to point out that Fantasy Land Leah is quickly becoming my favorite.  I think she’s this season’s Maci.  My least favorite is Jenelle, but that’s mostly because Kailyn and Chelsea are sort of unremarkable at this point.  Oh, and also because she tried to beat up her mother a couple of times.

Chelsea

Chelsea is sad.  Very sad.  She wants to go out with her housemate and friend, Megan, but she can’t because she has Aubree to take care of.  Since Megan is out being a normal teenager, Chelsea is lonely.  She keeps thinking about her loser ex, Adam.  Now a lot of times, my opinion on people change during the duration of a show, but I’m pretty sure I will never like Adam.  He’s been texting Chelsea that he wants to come around and see her and Aubree, so I’m guessing he’s lonely too.  Megan appears smarter than Chelsea because she’s like, “Omg, don’t do it!  Adam’s a douchebag.”  Well, not in those words, but I know that’s what she’s thinking.  If Adam had a change of heart and decides he wants to be a good dad to Aubree, that’s one thing.  But I have a feeling he just wants to get back in Chelsea’s pants.

I miss Adam, even though he's horrible to me.

I think Chelsea has a lot of growing up to do, which is sort of proven by how she needs to go to her dad’s house so he can help her with her homework and it mostly seems she just doesn’t want to do the work, and not that it’s too hard for her.  Well, maybe when she’s flipping burgers, Adam can bring home the bacon (wow, all those food references and I’m not even hungry!), because, yes, he’s back.  He texted Chelsea saying he wants to come over to talk and she agrees.  I think we all know where this is heading.

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