Itsyoursexlife.org put out a Public Service Announcement telling all about the joys of cuddling. Now, I have a few things to say about this:

1. The original Teen Moms! I totally missed them!
2. Why is Maci blonde? I’m not sure how I feel about that. What do you think?
3. They probably were cuddling at first. Cuddling leads to other things, which leads to having babies, which leads to starring in television shows. I’m just joking, kids. Don’t try this at home.

The most exciting news about this: Teen Mom is coming back for a third season, which premieres July 5th, and they’re already signed up for a fourth season too! At this point though, they’re no longer teens. In fact, they’re now about the same age I was when I became a mom. I don’t know about you, but I think I mostly miss Ryan. He kind of reminds me of Adam from Teen Mom 2, except that Ryan is actually likeable.

As an additional thought, Teen Mom names are taking over. The most popular baby names of 2010 have been released and Bentley (Maci and Ryan’s son) is at spot 101, and Maci is at 232. Sophia (Farrah’s daughter) is at number 2, but I’m pretty sure that’s been up there for a long time. What name is your favorite?

Teen Mom Farrah Got ImplantsSo everyone’s (nobody’s) favorite whiny Teen Mom, Farrah Abraham, was spotted recently in a skimpy bikini showing off her new “assets” that MTV clearly paid for.   I guess she somehow took time out of her busy schedule of hating her mother to find a bikini that barely fits and strut around showing off the implants that clearly don’t fit her body at all.

But, to be fair, at least she’s just hanging out on the beach showing off her body opposed to, you know, hanging out in jail.

More pictures after the jump

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Let's hope we don't see anything else like this.

Now that Teen Mom’s Farrah, Amber, Maci, and Catelynn are all quickly approaching middle-age and their kids are applying to colleges, MTV has a new cast for the media to ruin the lives of!  I would like to introduce you to the cast of Teen Mom 2:

Leah Messer who is the mother of 1 year old twins, Aliannah and Aleeah.

Jenelle Evans, mother of 16 month old, Jace.

Kailyn Lowry, mother of 11 month old, Isaac.

Chelsea Houska, mother of 15 month old, Aubree.

I didn’t watch 16 and Pregnant back when these girls were featured, so I don’t know if they’re trainwrecks or not yet.  I guess I’ll find out!

Source: US Weekly

Sigh.  The season 2 finale.  I don’t know about you, but I’m really going to miss Maci, Farrah, Amber, Catelynn, and their crazy adventures.  But never fear!  I just did a little bit of research and found out there will, in fact, be a season 3.  Hmm, I wonder if they’ll change the name to Young Adult Mom or perhaps Early 20’s Mom.

I almost don’t want to post this recap, because that means it’s really over.  I may sound melodramatic, but I’ve actually grown to really care about these people.  It’s hard to believe that it wasn’t too long ago when I refused to watch it, telling my boyfriend, “I can’t watch a show about teen mothers!  I’m going to have a teenage daughter in a few years!  It’s way too scary.”  That was before I really knew anything about the show and how it doesn’t glamorize teen pregnancy at all, but shows the hardships and struggles teen parents face.

Okay, I’m stepping off my soapbox now.  Onto the show!

CATELYNN

Catelynn and Tyler are taking an 8 hour drive out to West Virginia to visit Carly.  They haven’t seen her in a year, so this is a big deal.  However, they both admit they feel “blank” and not excited or nervous.

Tyler driving

Tyler looking all bad ass

On their way to West Virginia, Catelynn’s mom, April, calls and is all, “I love you guys.  Don’t forget about me!”  Umm, what?  How could they forget about her?  They should, but I think she kind of makes that impossible.  As they get closer to West Virginia, they admit they’re starting to feel a little nervous.  They also seem pretty excited.  Then they have this long discussion about if they should ask Brandon and Teresa if they can hold Carly.  Tyler does his therapist thing where he gives the other viewpoint, by saying to Catelynn that he wants Brandon and Teresa to feel totally comfortable and not that they’re trying to hone in on their territory.

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OK Magazine Has Never Steered Me Wrong! (until now)

Yesterday, we posted a rumor about Farrah maybe being pregnant again.  In an exclusive interview with MTV, she states the “baby bump” is just an allergic reaction to medication she was taking, because that’s what celebrities say when they look less than perfect.  It’s okay, Farrah, we all have our “fat days.”  As for the baggy clothes, she states: 

And the only clothes I’m wearing lately are baggy! They’re sweats for cooking and working out all the time, and going to the park with my daughter. I feel like I have no one to impress. I’m not going to dress up for anybody, I’m comfortable with myself. 

Source: MTV Remote Control 

This is a far cry from the Farrah we knew last season and even earlier this season, who danced the night away and put finding another man before anything else in her life.  I admit I’ve been impressed with the new Farrah and I hope, for her sake and especially Sophia’s sake, she keeps it up.

If you were looking for more Gary/Amber action, you’ve come to the right place!  We also get to see Amber laying down a lot, so it’s win-win.  I think.  We do get to hear Maci ask what an Ethiopian is though, and here I thought she was the smart one!

AMBER

Gary is still living in Amber’s apartment, despite the fact that they’re still not back together.  Amber decides to spend as little time at the house as possible, since all Gary does is keep the couch warm.  She takes Leah to the park with her cousin, Krystal.

amberpark

She decides to show Krystal some of the martial arts she’s learning that will keep Gary to cater to her every whim.  Hey, it’s working so far.  Don’t knock a good thing.  Right, Amber?

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OK Magazine Has Never Steered Me Wrong!

Hitting news stands soon is the newest edition of OK Magazine which will have Teen Mom’s Farrah Abraham’s recent modeling pic in which she is sporting a little belly.  Has she been drinking a bit too much?  Or getting a little semen injection on the side?

I was undecided if I should post this seeing as it’s pure gossip and I like cold, hard facts (like wondering if Top Model was staged), but last week I saw the photo as Farrah posted it on twitter and instantly wondered the same thing.    She does have quite the bump showing, and unless she puts on weight in very specific areas, it does in fact look like she’s been knocked up.

What she does have going for her is that this is OK Magazine, and on the same cover they have Bristol Palin and her dance partner Mark heating up, which is obvious since Bristol comes off as very desperate and would have hooked up with The Hoff had they been paired up.  Another cover story was Kendra Wilkinson having family drama.  Really?  Kendra, the ex-Playboy model who dated a 78 year old and recently released a sex tape is having family drama?  That’s a shocker!

So OK Magazine may not have the best credibility here with their “state the obvious” stories, but this one may have some legs not only because of the picture, but because she’s famous for having a kid.  It’s not at all a surprise for someone to get famous a certain way try to re-create that way… especially when she sees the money being dished out to the Jersey Shore cast from the very same network.

Maybe she’s trying for a Farrah spin-off show called Farrah Plus Two Equals .. Umm Five?

Anyway, here is a larger version of the bump pic, what do you guys think?  Preggers or just a belly?

Sophia Chillin On Counter Alone

Just a reminder, a new Teen Mom is on tonight!  So wrap Sophia up in bubble wrap, get ready for more Catelynn and Tyler just staring at each other, watch Maci make a huge mistake by moving to Nashville and enjoy some good ole fashion Gary and Amber fighting!

What a great week!  Farrah tries to sew her own clothes, Maci was on the show for about 2 minutes (actually, I don’t think I liked that part so much), Catelynn‘s mom didn’t call her a bitch, and Amber channeled her inner Chris Farley. We even got to see Jordan!

AMBER

Gary was still staying with his mom, but she basically told him to get his butt out, because he didn’t always get along with his brother.  So Gary calls up Amber and begs her to let him stay with her until he can afford to move out.  She’s like, “Whateve, but you have to pay.”  He tries to play the “I can move out faster if I don’t have to pay,” route.  Right, Gary.  Maybe someday that will work for ya.  She agrees to let him stay as long as he sleeps on the couch.  You know what that means, don’t you?  We get to see more fights!  And I don’t mean just fights between Gary and Amber.

Nope!  Amber decides she should take up martial arts to relieve the stress of having Gary living in her apartment like a bump on a log.

garysloth

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I had the brilliant idea of turning Teen Mom into a drinking game.  Take a drink every time Amber and Gary have an argument, a drink every time they show Ryan staring blankly into space, take a shot every time Farrah puts Sophia in danger, take two shots if Sophia gets injured from it, take a drink every time they have to caption Kyle speaking; but then I realized I would be totally snockered within 20 minutes and this blog post would be nothing but incoherent babble…more than usual anyway.

AMBER

I knew things weren’t going to go well for the dynamic duo when they had an argument within the first 5 minutes of the episode.  They signed up for dance lessons to get prepped for their wedding.  Do people actually do this?  I see it a lot on TV, but I don’t know any couples in real life who have actually done it.  So the instructor asks when their wedding is and they don’t know.  Amber replies with “maybe in 2 to 4 months.”  Gary’s all, “20 months sounds good to me, hardy har har.”  Seriously, Gary?  Do you want Amber to bitch slap you again?  I’m beginning to think he gets off on it.  That gets all squared away and they dance and I see a dress I totally covet.

amberballgown

The shocker comes next!

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