Survivor “Nay’s Wearing Them, Dummy”

fabio wearing a mask blowing on fire

Boom, just like that, another week in the books, but this was one wildly entertaining week, so I may end up writing a novel about it.  I hope not, I’m not even sure people read my shit, last thing I need to do is scare them away with a post the size of a Harry Potter book.

Click more to read a full review on week 2, and leave feedback on the episode!

Dans Shoes

Dans Shoes About To Sleep With Da Fishes

So this week, contestants decided to channel their inner Russell Hantz by messing with their respective camps.   On the Espada tribe, after Holly basically pulled a nutty on the tribe by throwing away their raw snails (gross), she overheard Dan Lembo and the rest of the crew talking about how crazy she’s been acting.  Well, naturally taking the high road, Holly decided to steal Dan’s $1,600 crocodile skin shoes(!!!) and fill them with sand and toss them into the water.  Wow.  I had Holly pretty high in the rankings, but you can likely expect to see her drop this week after this fiasco.

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Dan's Reaction To Holly

Holly realizes she’s been acting a bit crazy, and tries to do some damage control before she faces the same fate as Private Benjamin last week.  Too little, too late?  We’ll see I suppose, but the great part was when she approached Dan, she bent over his lap which looked like a blow job was incoming, and that gave a priceless look of shock and excitement combined into one by Dan.

After a stressful few days on the beach, Holly is considering going home, but Coach Jimmy pulls her aside and has a great pep talk that would make Troy Aikmen proud.  Jimmy, you really are getting it together out there, and may actually be exactly what the Espada tribe needs to get through some of the mental aspects of the game.  Well done, Jimmy.  Well done.

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NaOnka Fuming About Her Sock

Over on the La Flor tribe, the frat house is starting to shape up exactly like you’d see with a bunch of 20-30 year old good looking people.  Lines are being drawn, weird alliances are being made, and people are stealing socks in private, then in broad daylight.   This week, NaOnka lost one of her socks, or somebody stole it, but she starts freaking out and takes all her aggressions out on Fabio.   She then decides “What’s a good way to get socks back?  I’ll just take a pair from the guy in camp who I hate, that will go over well!”  Poor Fabio, he tried to approach Nay, and got verbally bitch slapped before he could even speak a word, and walked away with his tail between his legs and one less pair of socks.

However, she does pull herself together, no socks and all, to talk with Sash about forming some “minority alliance”.  Sash feels because he’s half black, Nay is all black, and Brenda is Asian, that’s the perfect alliance!  Kind of weird, but hey if it works, all the power to them I suppose.

CHALLENGE TIME!!

Now that the High School drama was out of the way, it was time to start the next immunity challenge, which this week also doubled as a reward challenge.  The winner got to decide between a tarp or fishing line.  Now remember, the youngins chose fishing over power in Week 1, will they have a chance to get a tarp as well?

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La Flor After Marching In

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Tyrone Still Not Impressed

LaFlor tried to pretend they’re a united tribe to intimidate Espada which didn’t work because a) Espada wasn’t there yet, and b) Everyone knows there is some tension on that tribe.  But if it makes them feel better, good..  plus it is funny to see.

For the challenge, 4 people had to dive through mud, then find a ball in a hay stack.  Once all 4 people have found their balls (weird they made most of the girls find the balls), the guys will then paddle the ball to each other and one person will try to sink it in a bucket.   Jeff gave Espada the option to use the medallion which allowed them to start with 1 ball in the bucket, but also sit out a weak player.   With that huge advantage, Espada gladly took it and promptly sat out Dan so he could linger about his shoes.

Getting the Balls for LaFlor was Brenda Lowe, Alina Wilson , Kelly Bruno, and Kelly Shinn.
Getting the Balls for Espada was Jimmy Johnson, Holly Hoffman, and Jane Bright

Paddling for LaFlor was  Sash, Chase Rice, Dale Gribble and Benry making the final toss.
Paddling for Espada was Jimmy T, Jill Behm, Marty Piombo and Tyrone making the final toss.

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Kelly Bruno Ripping Through Mud

To begin the challenge, Jimmy Johnson and Brenda got to get dirty first, and both flew through their part, getting the balls pretty quick (something tells me Brenda has no problem getting her hands on balls really quick).   The next pairing was Kelly Shinn vs Jane, and this was a match-up just dominated by Kelly.   Another hot girl quickly finding balls, no shocker there.   Alina was next up with a large lead, and nearly got to the hay by the time Jane was finished.  Not looking good for the oldies.   Holly dove in and got nice and muddy, just like poor Dan’s boot, but she was quickly followed by Kelly Bruno who tore through the course and also quickly found her ball, passing Brenda.   Now we know why they put all the girls on ball finding duty, they rocked those balls.   Ok, enough ball jokes now, that got lame quick.

Heading into part 2 of the challenge, both teams were neck and neck, but Espada still had the 1 ball advantage, which was huge in a tie game.   It became a much smarter decision when Benry landed the first ball in, and my buddy Tyrone bobbled his first attempt.

Score: LaFlor 1 – Espada 1

Things started looking very bleak for Espada when Benry landed his 2nd in a row, but Tyrone was having none of that, and was also able to land his first real shot.

Score: LaFlor 2 – Espada 2

With just 2 balls to go for each team, it was clearly going to be a race down to the wire, and leading the race was LaFlor who were able to take more overall shots than Espada due to moving the ball much quicker, but patience pays off as Benry misses his shot, but Tyrone lands his next.

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Benry Missing Shots

Score: LaFlor 2 – Espada 3

LaFlor was feeling the pressure at this point, but still moved it very quickly and were able to take 2 shots before the next Espada shot.  Shot 1 – Benry aims and …. misses.   Shot 2 – this one to tie it!!!  nope.  3rd miss in a row by Benry.   Now Tyrone was up for his shot which could win the game, and ….  NAILS IT!   My boy Tyrone pulls through for Espada, way to go.

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Espada Scores Again!

Final Score: LaFlor 2 – Espada 4

Hero of the Match:  Tyrone!
Goat of the Match: Benry

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Espada Wins Immunity!

With the victory out of the way, Espada wisely chooses the fishing gear and heads back to camp.   LaFlor, while making excuses for their loss, puts their heads down and also heads back to camp.  Sorry LaFlor.  However, next match they will get to use the Medallion of Power, so all was not lost.

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Marty With Idol

Back in camp for both teams were actually pretty eventful.  Normally the winning team heads back to camp, has their post-victory orgies and rests for the next day, but when Espada brought back the fishing equipment, as a team they found the clue to the hidden immunity challenge.   Within minutes they had most of the puzzle solved (very impressive), so they all went off individually digging around looking for the idol.  Jill, however, stared at the clue and the last piece finally came to her!  The clue was 15 feet (or yards, don’t remember) west of tree mail.  In a surprising move, she went and told Marty and Dan opposed to just finding the clue herself.  This could lead to some interesting developments down the road, especially for my buddy Tyrone.   He needs to be a part of that!

Dan decided to go back to mourning his gator shoes, which were by now trying to grow back legs and swim deeper into the water, which left Marty and Jill to discover the hidden immunity idol by themselves, and instantly made a pretty tight, strong 2 person alliance in Espada.  Well played, Jill.  It will be interesting to see where this one goes.  If they take Tyrone, maybe Evie, and maybe Jimmy J for morale support, they could be a VERY strong team even post-merge.

kellyb_inshape

LaFlor Shocked Kelly Is In Shape

Over on the LaFlor side, the party environment quickly faded as they realized they had to vote somebody out.  One side (including Chase) decided to vote out Brenda, but the other side (also including Chase) decided to vote out Shannon.   With Brenda, Sash, NaOnka, and Kelly Shinn (?) in their minority alliance, the vote was going to come down to Chase’s loyalty to either Brenda or Shannon.  It didn’t take long for Chase to chase Brenda and tell her what the other side was planning, which allowed her to channel Parvati and just use her charm in order to fully pull Chase to their side.  However, Alina was right by listening to this betrayal in alliances, and of course reported to Shannon and crew, which leads us to …

TRIBAL COUNCIL

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Shannon Going Crazy

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Well, Are you?

If Espada’s Council was like a warm summer breeze last weeks, LaFlors first council was like a category 5 hurricane.   Right off the bat, Shannon starts going off on Chase for his betrayal of loyalty, and he had a point.   They had a strong 5 person alliance, but Chase was thinking with his dick and destroyed whatever they had going, and that just set off the fireworks.  Shannon decided this betrayal was worth flipping out and acting absolutely batshit crazy over, so he continues to go off on Chase when Sash jumps in.  This is when any sympathy his alliance (or America) had in him went out the window.  He promptly asks Sash if he was gay, which was denied.  I mean one of Sash’s favorite hobbies is “beautiful women”, how can he be gay lol.  Sash attacks him back and they talk about how many beautiful women they’ve been with, and in order to settle the score, they whipped out their dicks to compare STD’s.. Shannon won, sorry Sash.  (ok, I made the last part up).   Then Shannon goes on to say how New Yorker are gay, at least more than down south, which I’m sure will make his experience in the season finale quite pleasant.

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SPOILERS BELOW

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After quite an exciting tribal council, Jeff finally allows them to cast their votes, and they went as follows:

Chase – Shannon
Brenda – Shannon
Shannon – Brenda
Jud “Fabio” – Brenda
NaOnka – Shannon
Kelly Shinn – Shannon
Alina – Brenda
Sash – Shannon
Benry – Shannon (switched votes)
Kelly Bruno – Shannon (switched votes)

And there you have it, the 2nd person voted out of Survivor Nicaragua

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Shannon, The Tribe Has Spoken

Sorry Shannon (aka Dale Gribble), looks like you can go back to Louisiana where there are no gays and continue to fight the good fight against bugs.

With that out of the way, was it a good move for Benry and Kelly to betray their shattered alliance?  Or alternatively, was it a smart move for Alina and Jud to stay with crazy Shannon?  I guess we’ll find out next week.   Thanks for reading!

3 comments

  1. […] doesn’t watch Survivor.   This season has a really great cast so far, especially since they ditched Shannon, and now they’re left with some really good people so far.   Even Jimmy Johnson, who I […]

  2. […] talking about how she’s running the show, alsocalling Sash a queen (another reference so crazy Shannon’s week 2 rant?).  That’s usually never a good sign, but that early it’s also likely a misleading […]

  3. […] the first time I can remember with this much talk of people walking off the show.  Five days in, Holly Hoffman was strongly considering saying see-ya to Jimmy Johnson and crew. Three episodes later, we had […]

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