Hell’s Kitchen – “She went all gangster on me.”

WEEK 1, EPISODE 1

If these were the 16 chefs chosen out of 10,000 applicants, I would hate to see the other 9,984.  I will say, though, that the intro. was really cool.  Chef Ramsay as Gulliver?  It doesn’t get any better than that.

intro

I was interested to see what Ramsay had up his sleeve as a surprise right off the bat.  Last season, he had his wife dress up in a bad wig and pass off as a contestant.  This season, it was kind of boring.  Since the restaurant (LA Market) where the winner will be head chef was a local joint, they went there to meet Ramsay.  The restaurant is gorgeous though.  I almost want to make a trip to LA just to eat there…before one of these goons is head chef.  I value my life.

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Then it was back to Hell’s Kitchen for the signature dishes!  My favorite part of the whole season.  The first entree we got treated to was breast of Emily.

boobs

Dude.

Ramsay wasn’t impressed and made her cover those puppies up.

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Out of 16 chefs, only 6 actually received points.  Sad, sad, sad.  I’m not sure any of them actually wowed him, but at least 6 didn’t completely suck.  Vinnie, Emily, Russell, Jillian, Boris, and Sabrina scored points for their respective teams.  Since the score was 3-3, there was a tiebreaker done using the worst dish served.  The Garbage of the Day Award goes to Antonia who served a bowl of mud.  She said it was mardi gras gumbo, but I have my doubts.

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After Ramsay finished puking, he made everyone else try a bite.  No one was impressed.

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The Blue Team won the challenge.  The reward was a spa day, plus some drinkies, which apparently turn Raj into a kung fu master.

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Dinner service!  Before anything can even happen, Antonia complains her head hurts and collapses.  It looked to me like she had an anxiety attack.  Did she fake it for an easy way out, since she was so humiliated during the signature dish challenge?  There seem to be an awful lot of injuries/sicknesses, is all I’m sayin’.  She did look really ill though, so I wish her well.

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Ramsay informed us she won’t be returning to Hell’s Kitchen.

Some highlights from dinner service:

Trev can’t make salad.  I mean, seriously?  Who can’t make a salad???

crappysalad

Sabrina decides she wants to please Chef Ramsay with her lamb before waiting for the halibut and garnish to be finished.

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She’s all like, “Look at how awesome I am!  Aren’t you proud of me?  I’m totally awesomesauce.”  Whatever, Sabrina.

Lisa was insanely slow and tried serving raw fish, because she obviously thought this was a sushi bar.

Melissa tried serving raw pizza, which she got reamed out for.  Boris decided that was a good time to mock Ramsay.  Bad idea, Boris.

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Boris isn’t one to talk, since he and Raj have a hard time making a simple pizza.

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I’m guessing it’s because Raj is still drunk.

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2 hours into dinner service and customers are leaving, because entrees haven’t been served, so both teams suck.  They must each pick 2 to be put up for elimination.

The Blue Team puts up Raj and Trev.  The Red Team puts up Lisa and Sabrina.

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Sabrina decides she wants to put Nona under the bus instead, because she thinks fried chicken is fine dining, because she can’t cook asparagus, and because (are you sitting down?) she snores and keeps everyone awake.  I kid you not.

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Sabrina is a whiny little bitch.  I’m making a bet (with myself) that she’s this season’s Autumn.  Nominated a lot because just about no one likes her, but lasts almost to the end.

The first eliminated from Hell’s Kitchen is…………..

LISA

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At least Raj is happy.

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WEEK 1, EPISODE 2

It’s Iron Chef Morimoto!!!!

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This guy turns sushi into an art form.  Just look at his works of art:

sushi

Raw fish never looked so appealing to me before.  The challenge for the contestants today is to recreate Mr. Morimoto’s sushi.  Seems easy, right?  After all, there’s no cooking involved.  Well, when it comes to Team Curtis/Trev, it’s not very easy.

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Since there are 2 extra Blue Team member, Team Curtis/Trev sits this one out, much to the Blue Team‘s relief.

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Each pairing had to create 9 sushi (What’s the plural of sushi anyway?  Sushis?).

Gail/Melissa – 0/9, despite the fact that Melissa was ecstatic she was paired up with the “Asian chick,” because all Asians know how to make sushi apparently.
Nona/Jillian – 8/9
Sabrina/Emily – 7/9

Louis/Rob – 4/9
Russell/Raj – 4/9
Boris/Vinnie – 8/9

So luckily (for them), the rest of the guys were able to pull it together and the Blue Team won this challenge 16-15.

Their reward was to go to San Francisco for a wine tasting and sunset dinner.  Maybe Ramsay should rethink rewarding Raj with alcohol.

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The girl’s had to prep for dinner service, then eat weird food, like squid and what looked like an inside out worm.

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Sabrina wasn’t impressed.

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Gail, on the other hand, gobbled it up like she’s been starving for a week.  Hey, Gail, if Hell’s Kitchen doesn’t work out for you, maybe you can be a contestant on Fear Factor.

gaileatinggrossfood

Dinner service!  Jillian and Vinnie are the maitre d’s for the night, along with James who is nowhere near as interesting as JP yet.  The Red Team didn’t have a bad night, other than the fact that Emily and Nona can’t handle their meat and Melissa has to switch places with Jillian.

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The Blue Team didn’t fail in keeping us entertained!  They decided to put the country boy who can’t make sushi at the sushi station, because they’re geniuses.  Alert!  Alert!  He still can’t make sushi.

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He gets kicked out of the kitchen.  Then comes the best part of the night.  Vinnie decides to tell the customers not to order side dishes, because they won’t get their food, since Raj is on the garnish station and he doesn’t trust him to deliver.

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You can only imagine what Ramsay has to say about that.  Raj too, since he’s been making side dishes like a mad man, even though there is no reason he should be making that many.

sidedishes

Vinnie and Raj get kicked out of the kitchen.  THEN we have another case of weird salads.  The walnuts are not even.

grosssalads

The entire Blue Team gets escorted out of the kitchen by Chef Ramsay himself.

In the dorms, Raj calls the other members of his team “kids,” which sets everyone off.  Louis gets all up in his grill, people are yelling and throwing things at him…it isn’t a pretty sight.

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Obviously, the Red Team won dinner service.

The Blue Team nominated Raj and Boris for elimination.  Ramsay decides to surprise everyone and calls Vinnie down to the elimination line too.

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But THEN, he surprises everyone again and kicks out Curtis!  Whoa!!!  Intense!  Bye bye, Curtis.  Now you can go learn to make sushi properly.

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Raj is so worked up, he falls out of his chair.

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This guy annoys me and makes me laugh all at the same time.


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