Hell’s Kitchen – “Gandhi didn’t even wear flip flops; he lived in the jungle!”


Saddle up the drama llama!  It’s time for another episode of Hell’s Kitchen!


To start off the day, the contestants are woken up by paramedics rushing through the dorms.  Naturally, they’re all confused and think there’s an emergency.


It turns out the paramedics are just giving them physicals and we get the pleasure of seeing Raj in his underwear.


What has been seen can not be unseen.

Once they’re all down in the dining room, the reason for the physicals is explained by Chef Ramsay.  He wanted to make sure they’re all healthy since they had a serious lack of energy at their previous dinner service.  They all passed the physicals with flying colors, which means they have a collective mental block.  In the case of Raj, this comes as no surprise to me.  Their next task is to make breakfast for all the paramedics.  It’s a race to see who can get all the breakfasts out first.

The Red Team gets off to a strong start, even though they’re divided Sabrina and Jillian versus everyone else.  At least they’re able to put aside their differences for a few minutes to get the food out.  The Blue Team, on the other hand, struggles from the start.  Salad is obviously a serious issue for the men.  Trevor couldn’t make a garden salad last week and Rob couldn’t put together a fruit salad this week.  He forgets the pineapple, which, in my opinion, is the best part of a fruit salad.  Then Boris has trouble cooking up some eggs.


He looks like making eggs is the hardest thing he’s ever done.

But they’re not the only ones having trouble by now!  Emily burns the bacon, which sets Sabrina into a rage.  She’s so strung out over the burned bacon, she turns three colors and practically hyperventilates.


Now I’m not a fan of bacon, believe it or not, and haven’t eaten it for years, but even I know this is burned:


But Sabrina almost goes into cardiac arrest over it.  We get it, Sabrina, you don’t like Emily.  That was the biggest issue with the Red Team all morning and they push the breakfasts out lickety split.


The Blue Team, on the other hand, has some very cranky customers.


Next, Raj has trouble with the eggs.  Eggs are obviously more difficult than I imagined.  More difficult than Raj imagined too.  He has to stick his head in the refrigerator to cool off from the pressure of it all.


Then Trev tries to burn the place down.


The Red Team has all their food out before the Blue Team gets very far at all, so the girls have to help the guys gets their act together.  Before long, everyone is served and there are all sorts of happy paramedics around.

Needless to say, the Red Team is the winner of the challenge.


Their reward is to dine poolside at the Viceroy Hotel in Santa Monica.  They have an additional treat too!  Trapeze lessons!  I guess they figure if none of the ladies ever make it anywhere in the food industry, they can join the circus.

Jillian on the trapeze

Jillian on the trapeze

At lunch, a waiter spills champagne on my homegirl, Nona, and Chef Ramsay pats her down to clean her up.


I almost expected Ramsay to call the waiter a donkey and kick him out of the dining room.

While all this is going on, the Blue Team is polishing 250 pieces of stemware for a cocktail service that night.  Raj can’t even do that right.  He then accuses them of harassing him.


Seriously, where did they find this guy?  Raj and Trev ended up having an altercation and Boris decides to play peacemaker.

The next day, the first issue is that Sabrina is late for prep.  She comes strolling out of the dorm long after the other Red Team members arrive in the kitchen.


She basically makes it sound like prep is beneath her and Ramsay isn’t looking for a good prep chef.  Newsflash, Sabrina: you are a prep chef.  She goes back to the dorm and primps, because that will make everything okay.  At least she will look pretty while she’s getting yelled at.


For dinner service, Sabrina and Trev are put on the cocktail station.  I almost wonder if Trev has an unfair advantage since he’s a bartender, but maybe that was Ramsay’s plan all along.


The Blue Team moves on to their entrees first, but the victory is short lived since Raj decides to make his own menu and serve dirty dish water with the salmon.  He calls it a “sauce,” but I have my suspicions.


The Red Team isn’t faring much better at this point, with Melissa on the fish station.  She overcooks the fish so that it resembles “Gandhi’s flip-flop,” according to Ramsay.


On the Blue Team, Raj can’t cook fish without the dirty dish water and turns out raw salmon.  Ramsay isn’t happy and smashes the salmon with his fist.  The poor fish died for nothing.  He could have had a family, is all I’m saying.


Raj tries to reason to Ramsay about his fish and how it was wrong of him to smash it.  Ramsay wants nothing to do with Raj by this point.


On the Red Team, Jillian asks Emily to taste the tomatoes she’s cooking since she doesn’t like tomatoes.  Emily tastes them and tells her to add more salt.  Jillian adds a lot of salt and the food is sent back by the customers for having a “mountain” of salt on it.


Gail, deciding she doesn’t want to be outdone by Trev, starts her own fire by almost falling asleep at her station.  She looks like she may be plotting to take over the world.  I’d keep my eye on this one.



On the Blue Team, Boris cooks up some yummy raw beef wellington.


Raj decides he doesn’t want all this cooked (raw) food to go to waste, so he eats it.  Everyone, including Ramsay, is yelling at him, but he still stuffs his face.


After he’s done indulging, Gandhi apparently grows a few extra feet.


Raj doesn’t understand the term “cook to order.”  They end up running out of fish and Raj gets kicked out of the kitchen.  When he’s hesitant to leave, Sous Chef Scott gets all up in his face, because he wants to be Ramsay when he grows up.


With Raj out of the kitchen, the entrees in the Blue Team are pushed out and the Blue Team ends up winning the dinner service due to the customer comment cards.

The Red Team puts Emily and Sabrina up for elimination.  Sabrina freaks and is all, “Blah, blah, Emily sucks, but Melissa sucks more, put her up, blah.”  Sabrina just loves throwing people under the bus, because the princess can do no wrong.


Ramsay surprises everyone, because he gets a thrill out of it, and ends up throwing Raj out!  Finally!  Raj certainly wasn’t expecting that.


After one false turn, he finds the door and makes his exit.



Before we say good-bye to Raj forever, I just have to add this:



Oh, that Raj!  He’s so crazy!!!