Dancing with the Stars – “This is not whateverland.”

Last night’s episode should have been subtitled “Let’s compare our injuries,” or maybe “SARAH PALIN IS HERE!!!”  Last week, we said hasta la bye bye to The Hoff, who ran in slow motion towards the Exit clad in nothing but an orange swimsuit.  Well, not really, but that would have totally made my night.

Our first dance number last night was Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke dancing the jive.  Rick had a ruptured tendon and now has a floppy foot.  We were very lucky, though, because we got to see it.

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Rick started off with ripping off his jacket, which didn’t bode so well for David Hasselhoff last week. 

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 We also got to see Cheryl’s tush! 

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It would have been funny if they had both labeled all their body parts.  Oh, well, there’s always next week.

Their scores:

rickfoxscores

Next up, Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas dancing the quickstep.  I’m not sure what’s up with the Mrs. Robinson thing they have going on (shall I start a rumor?) or the fact that Carol Brady didn’t flash us this week, but she did well overall.  Not to mention she looked so elegant!

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Florence also kissed Len Goodman, which I’m guessing is because she decided she likes older men after all, and Corky just doesn’t “get her.”  Of course, that’s just an educated guess and I could be totally off the mark.

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Their scores:

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Now we come to Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy dancing the jive.  But first, we got a little sneak peek into rehearsals and their intro. to couple’s therapy.

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We’ll be seeing them on Maury before long.

Dancing, I thought they looked super cute, but “cute” doesn’t cut it in the dance world unless you’re 4 years old and at your first recital and you just stand there staring out into the auditorium with your finger up your nose.

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Their scores:

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Still not bad, but not as good as last week.

Now we come to…..Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower dancing the jive.  Oh, Chelsie, what were you thinking doing this to poor Michael?  He’s kind enough not to breathe on you because he has laryngitis…

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and then you stick him in the doghouse.

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Listen, Chelsie, I understand you were dancing to “You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog,” but you don’t have to take it literally.  I would hate to see what you would do if you were dancing to “Used to Love Her (But Had to Kill Her),” which is also about a dog, by the way (factoid of the day).  Michael’s dancing wasn’t any better from last week either.  He was still very stiff and rigid.

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Their embarrassing scores:

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I don’t even think Michael’s fans will be able to pull him out of this one.  In fact, they’re probably not admitting they’re fans of his at this point.

Next, we’re wowed by Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani dancing the quickstep.  I didn’t want to like Audrina, but she is quickly becoming my favorite of the season.  She is so graceful and put together, even though her and her boyfriend are on the fast track to seeing Brandy and Maks’s couple’s therapist because of the friction caused by the demanding dance schedule, which she admitted to Tony.

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She should just dump him and date me, even though I’m straight.  I love her that much!

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Tony had told Audrina ahead of time that he would wax his legs if they don’t get three 8’s. 

Their scores?

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I’ll bet Bruno Tonioli did that on purpose.  Such a kidder!  Better get that hot wax ready, Tony!

Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough were up next, dancing the jive.  Last week, Derek reminded me of Zac Efron.  This week, he reminded me of Leonardo DiCaprio, but that might only be because I saw Titanic a couple of days ago.  We learned that, when Jennifer went to get a physical before the season to be sure she was physically fit enough to dance, she found out she had cancer.  She needed 4 surgeries to remove it and her spinal cord was compressed.

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To dance after all that….AMAZING! 

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She then promply collapsed and Tom Bergeron decided it was as good a time as any to do some yoga.

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She was just as good as last week and brought in the top scores of the night yet again!

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When their scores were announced, loud booing could be heard from the ballroom.  I was all like, “Dudes, she had CANCER!  You can’t boo people who had CANCER!”  I was totally getting worked up.  After doing some digging around today, I found out they weren’t booing Jennifer at all.  They were booing Sarah Palin who was setting up for an interview.

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It was just really odd.  Actually, I guess it wasn’t that odd considering how much people love to hate her.  And you know they only have Bristol on the show because they were hoping Sarah would show up.

After Sarah Palin tried unsuccessfully not to show any nepotism, we were treated to Margaret Cho and Louis Van Amstel dancing the jive.  I was totally expecting Margaret to do something really crazy, like soar through the air on a flying trapeze and then fall into a bowl of mashed potatoes.  But nope!  Other than her “I’m going to eat you alive” face….

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she did awesome!  Go, Cho Cho!  (As Carrie Ann Inaba called her.)

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Speaking of Carrie Ann, she basically told Margaret to stop making those crazy faces, which Margaret replied, “That’s just what my face is like, I can’t help it.”  I think I might love Cho Cho now.

Their scores:

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Louis looks like he wants to punch someone, or perhaps he’s thinking of waxing his legs too.

Now we have Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer (Ross Geller’s cousin!) dancing the quickstep.  My goal in life is to be as flexible as Lacey.

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Dude.  My hips almost disjointed just looking at her.

They did well again, but personally, I think they did better last week.

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Their scores:

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Carrie Ann totally has a massive crush on Kyle.  She couldn’t stop jumping out of her seat.

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Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya were up next, dancing the jive.  I immediately got chills.  For a quarterback, he is a total twinkletoes.

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And Anna is just way too cute.

Their scores:

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Now we have my boy, The Situation, making his entrance, along with Karina Smirnoff.  They danced the quickstep to Brian Setzer, but ol’ Sitchy wanted hip hop.  Quickstep to hip hop?  That sounds like an accident waiting to happen.  I would have loved to have seen that.

The Situation did improve , much to my relief.  I mean, his relief.

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He’s still kind of all over the place though, and will need to clean that up a bit.

Their scores:

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Now we take a break to go to Alaska with Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas.  She wanted him to meet her mom, Sarah Palin, which I first thought was because she was pregnant again, but we never really got the reason.  They just wanted to turn this into the “SARAH PALIN IS HERE!!!!!” show.

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I got really depressed here, because the Palin dining room is larger than my entire apartment.  And, look!!!!

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Alaska with sunshine, a t-shirt, and no snow!  There goes all the stereotypes I hold so close to my heart.

Okay, so Bristol and Mark danced the quickstep.  I thought it was okay.  Bristol actually talked, which was a huge step up from last week where she acted like Brooke Burke was going to attack her at any moment.

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Their scores:

bristolscores

MY PREDICTION TO GO HOME TONIGHT:

MICHAEL BOLTON

Sorry, Michael, you may be permanently in the doghouse now.

 

4 comments

  1. […] had posted earlier today that the booing last night was because of Sarah Palin being in the audience of […]

  2. nmbv says:

    I really don’t think they were booing Sarah.. That thought didn’t even cross my mind when the show aired.

  3. Melinda says:

    That didn’t cross my mind when the show aired either, but that’s what the press reported. I know next time not to listen to them (I should have known better! lol). I’m glad they were merely booing the judges scores. 🙂

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