The Amazing Race 17 – This Is Not Amazing Friend

I may complain about football screwing up the Sunday night schedule every other week until they finally fix it, and seeing as it’s been like this for many years now, you may hear a lot of complaining.   Ok, maybe I won’t complain every other week, but it sure is mind boggling.  Luckily this week it was only about 15 minutes late or so, because it was very important to hear Andy Rooney’s random thoughts!

This week teams were heading from Sweden all the way to Norway, and if you didn’t know geography, it’s still on the body of land that looks like a flaccid penis tea-bagging Europe.  (I’m sure many will be rushing to google maps right now to see what I mean)

Team Doctor (Nat and Kat) finished first,

Brook and Claire full of energy

Brook Full Of Energy

and will start first in one of the legs where finishing position is actually important in the race, so they were off to Norway to see what challenges await them.

This race isn’t slowing down Team Watermelon Face (Brook and Claire) or Team Miss Kentucky (Gary and Mallory) either, as both Brook and Mallory are wired with energy like they sleep with direct caffeine injections into their blood.

Btw, how many teams giggled when they had to try and pronounce Fagernesfjellet mountain? 

Oh, and another fun fact, we also learn that Michael and Kevin (Team Youtube) pees together!   Kind of weird way to start a show.    Poor Kevin, he gets so embarrassed sometimes.

A Team That Pees Together Stays Together

Another fun fact, we get to learn .. yet again .. that Thomas went to Notre Dame and he expected to go out with some other college chick, but ended up with poor Jill who went to cosmetology school.   We get it, you’re smarter than your girlfriend and take any chance  you can to let her know this.

Thomas looks sad about his girlfriend Jill

I Miss My College Girlfriend

Kat team doctor scared about lift

Kat scared about lift

On to the challenges, our first one is not really a challenge for many teams but it is for Nat who struggles to go up the gondola to the top of the mountain where they get their next clue.  Little did we know, Nat is scared of heights.  But, they’re doctors, they’ve been through tougher stuff, and will go through tougher things (real soon), so they overcome up and find this years first Fast Forward.   For those new to The Amazing Race, a Fast Forward is just one challenge a team must do in order to skip right ahead to the end of the leg.  No Detours, no collecting $200, just straight to Phil.   It’s usually a challenge that pushes players limits from eating crazy things to climbing along wires way up in the sky, but still much quicker than doing the other challenges.

Team Doctor does accept the challenge, and their task is to celebrate Christmas with some people!  Easy, right?  Well, their form of celebrating Christmas is to eat a sheep’s head.   W-T-F.   Not only was the concept gross, but the food looks like bones wrapped in a cut out football that was kicked around in the mud then run over by an 18-wheeler.   One thing about this, and we get to hear it about 15 times, Nat is a vegetarian and hasn’t eaten meat in like 18 years.   So one is super terrified of heights and one is a vegetarian?  You better hope one of your future challenges isn’t eating a Steak dinner while riding a Ferris wheel.  Anyway, good luck girls, I’ll check back on you later.

nasty looking sheep's head team doctor had to eat

Merry Christmas!

One funny thing about the Fast Forward, despite finishing near last, Team Tattoo (Nick and Vicky) not only decide to try it, but do so thinking “I’m pretty sure everyone did the Fast Forward by now”.   Umm, I am beginning to think they’ve never watched the show before.  First off, usually the first and second team max try it (and race to finish it), and secondly, only one person can complete it.     But that doesn’t stop team Tattoo, they truck on, get to the challenge only to see the Fast Forward Taken sign, which again didn’t give them a clue that only one team can complete it.    After searching around the cabin for a bit, they decide to head to the Road Block.    Oh Team Tattoo, what are we going to do with you?

Team tattoo confused about the fast foward sign

I wonder what that sign means

The rest of the teams must still ride the gondola,  just to get the clue that leads them back down the mountain and to a bridge where they get to pull some James Bond type of shit.    It’s a Road Block, so one player from each team will need to rappel down this huge ass bridge, get the clue and then climb back up the rope.

This is a sunny day in Norway

Things we learned from this challenge:

  • They’ve never heard of wedgies in Norway, thank you Claire for finding that out for us
  • Kevin is going to be forced to do all the physical challenges from here on out, as Michael would probably still be hanging from that bridge today
  • Mallory on the other hand has no problem sending her like 60 year old father to do these challenges, but Gary is pretty bad-ass.  He handled it with ease
  • Claire really enjoyed going down the rope, but going back up sent her into a dark place.  She did overcome it though, good job, Claire.
  • Super Hero Notre Dame Thomas loved this challenge and zipped down and back up because according to Jill, “He grew up in the mountains.. you know.. repelling”.
  • Vicky is pretty strong, she loves the physical challenges and really does do well at them.
  • Can Chad and Stephanie’s relationship survive this entire race?
  • This was a type of challenge that usually wipes out one of the all-girl teams on the race, will it work this time?   Most teams finished this challenge in the order they started in….

So with teams on the move, they’re now heading to the Detour, but wait, we can’t forget about our sheep head eating Doctors!   How are they doing?

Num Num Num

They’re done!  Good job girls, and with that, they head to meet up with Phil where they finish 1st for the second straight week and this time are rewarded with a 5 night stay in Costa Rica.  Well done

Team doctor finishes first

Congrats Girls!

Ok, now we can get to the Detour:

Bikes or Boats

In Bikes, teams must ride mountain bikes along the country side, remembering a specific color for the bike, find the lock code at the end of the trail, ride back and unlock the clue.

In Boats, teams must transport two pretty large fish, and a chainsaw to some remote cabin in the woods which will likely be the scene of some future murder investigation.

Team Choices:

Team Miss Kentucky:  Bikes
Team Youtube: Boats
Team Watermelon Face: Boats
Team Romance: Boats
Team Tattoo: Bikes
Team Eat, Pray, Love: Bikes
Team Beach Volleyball: Boats

Here are my notes on this challenge:

  • Team Youtube knowing their strengths and weaknesses, unlike Team Princeton, wisely chooses the safer path.    Kevin seems less than thrilled, but accepts it.  He’s really a supporting son.
  • Gary and Mallory surprise me by doing bike, but kick ass with it… well, aside from Mallory falling on her ass at the end.
poor mallory

Mallory falling on bike

  • Brook seems to be extremely scared of the boat sinking, so she goes as far as wearing a life jacket diaper!   Haha
brook has a life jacket diaper

Brook protecting her butt from drowning

  • Thomas suffers inside as Jill asks “Does it matter what color we have to memorize” and dreams of his old Notre Dame girlfriend.
  • Speaking of that team, Thomas is so smart he decides to give Team Volleyball false hope by driving by them again as they’re doing bridge challenge.   Yea, false hope, he wasn’t lost.  He’s too smart for that.
  • Nick brags about how he rode BMX as a kid and how awesome of a biker he is, yet Vicky destroys him in this challenge.  Haha poor guy
  • On the challenge, Claire asks the guy in the remote woods “Why do you live all the way up here” before giving the guy a kiss.  I love these girls.

Getting the kiss count up!

Very similar to the road block, there wasn’t a whole lot of position shaking going on despite people getting lost, doing to fast fowards while the option was no longer available, and Brook hitting her face with the car door.

Brook hit in the eye

All teams checked in except Team Romance and Team Beach Volleyball, and with some heavy editing, it appeared this was going to be a close finish until:

SPOILERS

Sorry girls, back to the beach

Katie and Rachel have been eliminated from the race.   Sorry girls.

Here are the final rankings for this leg:

  1. Team Doctors (Kat and Nat)
  2. Team Miss Kentucky (Gary and Mallory)
  3. Team Eat, Pray, Love (Notre Dame and Jill)
  4. Team Youtube (Michael and Kevin)
  5. Team Watermelon Face (Brook and Claire)
  6. Team Tattoo (Nick and Vicky)
  7. Team Romance (Chad and Stephanie)
  8. Team Beach Volleyball (Rachel and Katie) – Eliminated

Full gallery for you guys!